The Love We Believe We Deserve

It’s the day after Valentine’s Day. Bring on the discount chocolates! 😉

The hubs and I didn’t do anything special this year, what with a baby on the way and our anniversary right around the corner. As we munched on fast food and searched for a semi-romantic movie on Netflix, I found myself thinking about my Valentine’s Days growing up.

My very first Valentine was my father. In fact, every Valentine’s Day, my sister and I would wake up to chocolates, flowers, and a sweet card from our daddy. And he wasn’t just great at Valentine’s Day. My dad was a rockstar all year long.

Every birthday, we each got a dozen roses in our favorite color. When he went away on business trips, he would always come back with a small treat or toy. Hugs, kisses, and I love you‘s were given daily. The poor man endured endless Disney movie marathons, and even let us paint his nails!

Most importantly, he was actively engaged and interested in our lives:  a shoulder to cry on, a debate partner to test our ideas, a friend to laugh and joke with, and a man we respected.

He was by no means wrapped around our fingers; the rules didn’t bend if we just asked daddy sweetly. And though he rarely spoiled us, he always made sure we knew we were loved — especially on Valentine’s Day, when so many women feel inadequate if they are not in a relationship.

What is it about this holiday that reduces accomplished and successful individuals to a single facet? Disregard all their unique talents and achievements. On Valentine’s Day, they are defined by one thing: their dating status. It’s such an easy trap to fall into, especially when we let our value as a person be determined from outside ourselves, instead of within.

All those sweet little things my daddy did were part of my parents’ larger plan to make sure we grew up with an unshakable sense of self-worth. What they both did so very well was teach us that we are always worthy of love and respect, no matter what.

“We accept the love we believe we deserve.”

The Perks of Being a Wallflower, Stephen Chbosky

7 thoughts on “The Love We Believe We Deserve

    • Thank you! Sorry, but I’m not sure I understand your question. Are you inquiring about grammatical issues? I always love to know when I’ve let my English major training slip!


      • No, I’m sorry for not explaining myself. While I was reading your entry, I had the feeling your parents weren’t around anymore? The “was” instead of “is”, and “were” instead of “are”? I know, I know, I’m getting away from the point right? It would do me a world-of-good to brush up on my own use of the English language. I still appreciate what you wrote and what a positive influence your parents had, and continue to have, in your lives. Thanks for letting me ramble on…


      • Oh, I see! I couched most of the story in the past, reminiscing about how they raised me back then … I hadn’t thought that someone might read it as them being gone. Thanks for the feedback! 🙂


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